


Emma Nolan Wasn't Afraid

by ohheykat



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, tw: child abuse, tw: homophobia/slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohheykat/pseuds/ohheykat
Summary: Emma Nolan wasn't afraid of anything. Not the dark, not heights, not even death itself. But things change, and when Alyssa Greene comes sauntering into her life she realizes that she just might fear more than she knows.





	Emma Nolan Wasn't Afraid

Emma Nolan wasn’t afraid of anything. She used to be, when she was little, but not anymore. You learn to become numb when every night your mother gets drunk until she can’t stand, and your father blames you for everything. When other kids whined about heights or venomous snakes or the dark, Emma welcomed them with open arms. Especially the dark, in the dark her dad couldn’t find her. So yeah, Emma Nolan didn’t fear anything, or at least she thought she didn’t.

Then Alyssa Greene came into the picture.

It wasn’t that she was afraid of her. Hell, how could you be? She was a bubbly, over talkative sixth grader who was nearly half her height. She wouldn’t even know her if it wasn’t for Kaylee joining the middle school cheer squad and becoming friends with her and Shelby. It wasn’t really Alyssa that scared her, no, it was something else. It was the pit in her stomach every time she looked at her. It was the fact that she laughed too hard at her jokes, that her cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree whenever she called her “boo.”

Kaylee picked up on it before Emma did, and by seventh grade the three of them had decided that they could only be friends with other cheerleaders. Alyssa still said hello in the hallways, but only when the other two weren’t around. 

By eighth grade the hellos had stopped altogether.

When freshman year of high school came around, Emma learned what the word for her feelings was. Her father found it in her search history, and from then on her phone was monitored at all times. She didn’t have to make excuses for the bruises anymore, no one ever asked her about them. Kids just gave her weird stares in the hallway, but those had been happening since the sixth grade. 

Sophomore year, things got worse. Her parents were angry all of the time, with a new excuse for why everyday. Emma knew the truth though, their marriage was falling apart at the seams. Her mother took her anger out on the bottle, while her father elected to take it out on her. Some days it felt like her entire body was black and blue, and others it was painful even to walk. 

Christmas rolled around, and her grandmother came over to celebrate. She was the first person in years to ask about Emma’s black eye and the purple dots that lined her arms. “I fell down the stairs,” Emma lied, it was the same lie she had given back in middle school. Back when people actually cared.

Betsy didn’t buy the story, though she pretended like she did. She had a story of her own, that she wanted to be closer to her son in her old age, and she moved into a house just a few blocks away in Edgewater. The bad nights stopped for a little while.

Then, on a fateful night during the summer of junior year, Emma was tired of hiding who she was. Her dad had picked the fight, screaming about the fact that she had been googling things that she shouldn’t. “You’re a damn liberal just like that grandmother of yours!” he was backing her into a corner, she didn’t have much room to run at this point. “Pride? What the hell does that even mean? Who has pride for some damn mental illness?”

“It’s not a mental illness!” she screams, closing her eyes tightly as she feels the belt hit her. “It’s who I am, Dad!”

He stops suddenly, and Emma opens her eyes to find him staring at her, the anger in his eyes like a fire that could burn down a thousand forests. “Get out!” he barked. “Get the fuck out of my house you faggot!”

Emma feels tears well up in her eyes as he slams her door. She packs quickly, just grabbing fistfuls of clothes and stuffing them into a bag, as much of her art supplies as she can, and her guitar before climbing out of the window. They didn’t deserve to see her crying, they didn’t deserve a goodbye. She drove her truck a few blocks down, thanking her stars that her grandmother’s car was in the driveway. 

Leaving her things in the car, she shut the door to her truck before walking up to the front door and knocking. Betsy answered, her smile quickly turning to a frown of worry. “What happened?” she ushered her inside, quickly leading her to the couch to sit down.

“I- I pissed off Dad,” Emma sniffles, surprised that she can still find a voice.

“Oh my God,” she gently touches Emma’s arm, but even that makes her wince. “Honey did you bring anything with you? If you didn’t I can replace it, you aren’t going back there.”

“I did,” she struggles to keep herself from bursting into tears again. “I can’t go back.”

“No, no you can’t,” Betsy agrees. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?”

“Grandma… I’m gay.”

Betsy pauses for a moment, but only a moment. “Baby, that doesn’t matter,” she smiles softly. “Now, where are the things you brought? I’ll get them, you sit here.”

“In the truck,” Emma whispers, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“Okay,” Betsy gives her a smile. “You pick out something on the television darling.”

And for a little while, Emma wasn’t afraid.

But then the Thanksgiving assembly happened, and she found herself subject to even more torment than before. Not only was she the token gay kid at her school, but she was now the one who had taken the courage to sing. Courage that was quickly shot down by her peers. Now she had to book it to the band room for lunch, because if someone saw her go in there they’d probably follow her just to tease her more.

She thought her fears were coming true two weeks later, the first week of December, when the door opened suddenly and someone came stumbling in. It took Emma a minute to register who it was, but when she did her heart skipped a beat. “Alyssa?”

She looked up to face her, fear etched on her face. “I didn’t know anyone was in here,” she says quickly, hand already on the doorknob to leave. “I’m sorry, I can go.”

“Wait, no,” Emma’s standing suddenly, reaching her hand out. “You can stay, it’s alright.”

Alyssa takes a shaky breath, and Emma pulls up a chair for her to sit. “Are you okay?” she asks, not sure how to break the awkward silence.

“Kind of,” Alyssa took a shaky breath. “It’s complicated.”

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go,” Emma chuckles. “What’s going on?”

“I- well, when did you know you liked girls?”

_When I met you._ “I don’t know, sometime around the sixth grade. Why?”

“Does everyone figure it out that early? Because, I mean, I’ve had weird feelings about girls before but never like this. Maybe I’m just imagining things, maybe Mom was right. It’s just a phase, a phase that I’ll grow out of as soon as possible.”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” Emma says as Alyssa finally pauses to catch her breath. “You think you like girls?”

“Maybe,” she begins growing anxious again. “It’s just… I started having weird feelings so I googled this quiz to see if maybe I was, and then my mom found it on my phone and she got all mad. Listen, I can’t be gay, my mom would kill me.”

“I feel that,” Emma chuckles a little. 

“Oh my god, that was insensitive, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Hey, hey,” she cuts her off. “I joke about stuff like that all the time, it’s just that nobody’s usually around to hear it. I promise, you weren’t being insensitive. And look, I know we barely know each other, but if you ever need someone to talk to about this stuff, I’m here. I promise I won’t tell anybody your secret, hell, I won’t even tell people we’re hanging out.”

“Thank you,” Alyssa lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. “It means a lot.”

“No problem,” Emma offers her a chip. “Now, talk to me about these feelings you’re having.”

Long story short, the two of them would end up falling in love. People say that you can’t pinpoint the moment you fall in love, but Emma could. It was Christmas Eve, and Mrs. Greene had taken off on a company Christmas trip, leaving Alyssa alone with her thoughts on Christmas. Emma couldn’t stand it, so she invited her over for Christmas Eve dinner with her grandma, figuring that now was as good a time as any to introduce her grandmother to her new friend.  
“Emma’s told me so much about you,” Betsy smiles as they eat. “She says you eat lunch with her every once in a while.”  
“I try to at least once or twice a week,” she grins at Emma, who’s looking down sheepishly at her food. “I just sometimes get busy with things like cheer meetings and stuff.”

“Understandable,” Betsy smiles. “She tells me that you’re in her chemistry class together?”

“Oh yeah,” Alyssa responds. “I’m kind of excited to be back in chemistry after break. We’re making peanut brittle!”

“That sounds like it’ll be fun,” Betsy finally gives her granddaughter a little kick under the table. “Em, why don’t you show Alyssa the gift we got her?”

“You didn’t have to do that!” Alyssa squeaks, looking towards Emma, making the blond’s cheeks light up red.

“Uh yeah,” she stammers, standing up. “Come with me.”

She leads Alyssa towards their Christmas tree, grabbing a simply wrapped present sitting under it. “It isn’t much,” she says sheepishly as she hands it over.

Alyssa unwraps it carefully, finding a box underneath it. She opens it and finds a small silver bracelet with an “A” charm on it. Emma looks down, a little embarrassed at the gift, but looks up suddenly when she feels Alyssa wrap her arms around her. “I love it so much,” she says softly, finally pulling back after a moment. “Oh my god, no one’s ever put this much thought in a gift. I just feel bad that I didn’t get you anything.”

“I don’t need anything,” Emma smiles at her. “I already got the best gift in the world.”

“Yeah?” Alyssa grins. “Well, I promise I’ll pay you back someday. I’ll find the perfect bracelet for you someday.”

Betsy called them for desert, and as they were walking back into the dining room Alyssa noticed something hanging on the doorway. She stopped Emma, pulling her in for another hug just as they were standing under it. “I just wanted to say thank you for the amazing gift,” she smiled softly. “It really means a lot.”

“Yeah,” she said nervously, her cheeks lighting up as bright as Rudolph’s nose. “It’s nothing really.”

“It’s not nothing,” Alyssa took her hand. “Hey, look up. Looks like we got caught.”

Emma looks up to see mistletoe peaking at them on the corner of the doorway. “Oh, we don’t have to- that’s just kind of- I mean-”

Alyssa cuts her off by pressing her lips to hers. Emma was surprised at first, but then kissed back, finally relaxing. They pulled apart slowly, staring into each other’s eyes. “I don’t think I need dessert,” Alyssa winks. “I already got the sweetest thing here.”

Things were okay for a while, minus the whole fake prom fiasco in May of her senior year. Her final year became more bearable as it began to come to an end, and Emma found herself more relaxed and happier than ever. She was once again Emma Nolan: the girl who didn’t fear anything.

Then she got the call from Betsy.

“Have you heard?” her grandmother’s voice was frantic. “Where are you right now?”

“I parked at Sprint to get a drink before I go meet Alyssa for dinner. Why?”

“Alyssa got into a car accident.”

Her phone slips from her hand and hits the ground, the screen shattering on impact. She’s shaking so badly that by the time her grandmother comes to get her, you would think it was winter instead of near summer. “I’m glad you didn’t try to drive,” Betsy sighs as they pull out of the parking lot. “We’ll fix your phone later, I promise.”

Emma nods. She didn’t care about any of that; she wanted Alyssa. They pull into the hospital parking lot and she practically leaps out, almost running into the lobby. She sees Mrs. Greene sitting in the waiting room, so she carefully approaches her. “Hi,” Mrs. Greene says simply.

Neutral talking, Emma decided, was better than her being an asshole, or her being fake loving to her. It was obvious both of them were nervous wrecks, so Betsy offered to get both of them coffee. Mrs. Greene smiles as she hands it to her, and Emma swears it’s the first time she’s ever seen her smile. Maybe it was true that tragedies brought people together.

_This isn’t a tragedy._ She had to get that mindset out of her head, Alyssa was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine. She thought that maybe if she willed that hard enough it would come true. Some of it obviously worked because just a few minutes later a nurse came to collect them. “Her injuries weren’t as severe as we thought,” she smiled warmly at the three of them. “She has a concussion and a broken wrist, but she’ll make a full recovery in a matter of months.”

It felt like all three of them were breathing sighs of relief. They walked into Alyssa’s room to find her lying down in the dark, her eyes shut tightly in pain. “Hey Superstar,” her mom greets as she walks in. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful,” she moans. “Is Emma here?”

Mrs. Greene chuckles a little. “She’s right behind me.”

Emma kneels by her bed, carefully running a finger through her curls. “Hey baby girl,” she whispers softly. 

“I thought I was never gonna see you again,” Alyssa whispers, taking her own hand and placing it over Emma’s. “I saw my whole life flash before my eyes and the only good part was you.”

Emma sniffles, and Alyssa finally opens her eyes to see her crying softly. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

That’s when Emma learned she wasn’t fearless, she never truly was to begin with. As she cried with her girlfriend, she realized what her deepest fear was. Emma had been through a lot, more than any kid should go through, but Alyssa made everything worth it. So yeah, she was afraid of Alyssa Greene, and she was absolutely terrified of losing her.


End file.
